Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler :: the blog

Excerpt from Chapter 1, Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler

Excerpted from   by Ann Douglas (Wiley, 2006). Reprinted from Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler with the permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1: Sleepless in Suburbia

"I was obsessed with sleep. It was all I could talk about. My 'sleep log' was never out of reach. I would pore over my sleep log for hours, searching for the key, the missing clue."
- Laurie, 38, mother of one

Sleep is a lot like sex. If you're not getting it as much as you'd like, if can become a bit of an obsession. Suddenly, all you can think about is when you last had it, how great it felt when you had it, and what you can do to get some again. And if you end up sound ing as desperate as some 20-something single guy on the wrong side of lucky--sell, that's to be expected. At this stage in your life, sleep is in every bit as short supply as sex is in his. "When you're chronically sleep deprived, it's hard to think rationally about sleep," insists Kara, a 33-year-old mother of a toddler and a young baby. "You become desperate. My friends and I compared our sleep obsession to an addiction. How much did you get? How did you get it? Where did you get it? Was it any good?"

As the days and night blend together into one continuous, unending day, you may find yourself developing an elaborate fantasy life that revolves around sleep. You find yourself daydraming about sleep and you may be shocked to find that your steamy R-rated dreams have been replaced by decidedly G-rated fantasies. If a Hollywood leading man happens to saunter into one of your dreams these days, he's no longer flashing his bedroom eyes at you and beckoning you to come hither. He's gently cradling a sleeping baby in his arms and whispering the words that every sleep-deprived mother wants to hear: "It's okay, honey. I've got him. You just roll over and go back to sleep."

In this chapter, moms talk frankly about how sleep deprivation really feels--why sleep is such a huge issue for so many parents and how sleep deprivation can take its toll on your life in so many powerful and often unexpected ways. Then, in Chapter 2, we switch into solutions mode, zeroing in on mom-prove strategies for maximizing opportunities for sleep, boosting your energy, combating stress, and taking the best possible care of yourself."

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Table of Contents for Sleep Solutions

This is the table of contents for my new book Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler (Wiley, 2006).

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Sleepless in Suburbia
Why the Sleep Deprivation of Early Parenthood Comes as Such a Shock
    Society Doesn't Do a Particularly Good Job of Preparing New Parents
    Learning about Sleep Might Not Have Seemed That Important While You Were Pregnant
    Falling on Deaf Ears
    Unexplainable Degrees of Exhaustion
The Mother of All Sleep Debts
    Pregnancy Sleep Debt
    New Mom Sleep Debt
    More Sleep Debt: Toddler and Preschool Years
Why Sleep Is Such a Huge Issue for So Many Parents
    You Never Know When Your Sleep Is Going to Be Disrupted Next
    You Get Conflicting Advice from the Experts
    And a Lot of Unsolicited Advice, Period
    Your Child’s Sleep Problems Can Take a Toll on Your Parenting Self-Esteem
How Sleep Deprivation Makes Parenting Harder
    Your Brain Starts to Feel Foggy and Sluggish
    Your Communication Skills Plummet
    Your Problem-Solving Skills and Your Creativity Begin to Nosedive
    You May Feel Impatient and Edgy
    Feel Zapped of Your Usual Energy and Drive
    You May Experience Insomnia
    You May Start to Experience Some of the Physical Symptoms Associated with Sleep Deprivation
    You May Experience Some of the Emotional Symptoms Associated with Sleep Deprivation
    You Are at Increased Risk of Developing Postpartum Depression
Desperate Parents
The Sleep Deprivation Gender Gap
    Play to One Another's Strengths
    Ask for What You Need
    Accept That Moms Tend to Be More Tuned into Their Babies' Cries in the Night
    Accept the Fact That Sometimes Only Mom Will Do
    Realize That Fair Doesn’t Have to Mean 50/50
    Strangers in the Night
    Sleep Is the New Sex
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 2: The Sleep-Deprivation Survival Guide
Eyes Wide Shut: Maximizing Your Opportunities for Sleep
    "Sleep When the Baby Sleeps"
    Call for Backup
    Make Some Strategic Sleep Moves
    Set the Stage for Sleep
    Practise Good "Sleep Hygiene"
    Develop a Relaxing Pre-Bedtime Routine
Boosting Your Energy through Nutrition and Fitness
    Eat for Energy
    Exercise for Energy
The Secrets of Sleep-Savvy Moms: Ways to Make Sleep Deprivation Less Crazy-Making
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 3: The Science of Sleep
What Sleeping Like a Baby Really Means
Sleep-Related Milestones
    Your Newborn
    Your One-Month-Old
    Your Two- to Six-Month-Old
    Your Six- to Nine-Month-Old
    Nine- to 12-Month Old 81
    Your Toddler (Ages One and Two Years) 
    Your Preschooler (Ages Three and Four Years) 
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 4: Winning at Sleep Roulette 
Eight Best Sleep Strategies: What Every Parent Needs to Know 
1. Learn to Spot Your Child's Sleep Cues
    Baby Sleep Cues
    Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Cues
    From Tired to Overtired
2. Teach Your Baby to Distinguish between Night and Day
3. Establish a Consistent, Predictable Bedtime Routine during the Early Months of Your Baby's Life, and Allow This Routine to Evolve as Your Child Moves from Stage to Stage
4. Let Your Baby Practise Falling Asleep on His Own So That He Can Learn How to Soothe Himself Back to Sleep; Practising Your Baby's Self-Soothing Skills
5. Learn How to Understand the Noises Your Baby Makes in His Sleep
6. Make Daytime Sleep a Priority: Children Who Nap Sleep Better at Nighttime
7. Recognize When Your Baby No Longer Needs to Be Fed in the Night and Start Using Non-food Methods to Soothe Your Baby Back to Sleep
8. Remain as Calm and Relaxed as Possible about the Sleep Issue
Sleep Survey Says 
How Temperament Affects Sleep
Sleep Researchers: Meet the Parents!
Who's Calling Who Temperamental?
Sleep Training: The Mother of All Hot Topics
Why It May Be Difficult to Talk Sleep with Even Your Very Best Mom Friends
    The Expert's Not the Boss of You
    Sleep Nirvana: You Can Get There from Here!
    The Sleep Plans of Which Dreams Are Made
The Big (Sleep) Talk: Discussing Sleep Issues with Your Partner
    If Plan A Fails
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 5: Bedroom Politics: Where Will Your Baby Sleep?
SIDS: Some Basic Facts
The Bedrooms of the Nation 
Making Bed Sharing a Safer Option: Some Unofficial Tips and
Suggestions
Safe Sleep Strategies: What Every Parent Needs
to Know
Other Tips on Providing Your Baby with a Safe Sleeping
Environment
Location, Location, Location
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 6: The Real-World Guide to Solving Your Baby’s Sleep Problems 
Hush, Little Baby
    Back to Sleep
    Nap Know-how
    Bedtime Problems 
    Night Waking
    Early Birds (a.k.a. Larks)
    Feeding to Sleep
    Baby's Not Sleeping through the Night Anymore
    Changing Spaces
    Sleep Disruptions
    Have Baby, Will Travel
    Seeing Double
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 7: The Real-World Guide to Solving Your Toddler's Sleep Problems
The Truth about Toddlers and Sleep
    Bedtime Basics
    Night Patrol
    Little Ms. Early Bird
    Naptime Know-how
    Pacifier Partings
    Musical Beds 
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 8: The Real-World Guide to Solving Your Preschooler’s Sleep Problems
Desperately Seeking Sleep Solutions
    Routines Revisited
    The Relaxation Express: The Top
    Relaxation Techniques for Preschoolers
    Bedtime Fears
    Nightmares vs. Night Terrors
    Thunderstorms
    Sibling Sleep Deprivation
    Help Me Make It through the Night
    Little Miss Sleepyhead
    Preschooler Naps: The Endangered Species List
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Chapter 9: Sleep Disorders: What Every Parent Needs to Know
The Worried Parent’s Rest-Easy Guide to Sleep Disorders 
Solutions Central: The Last Word

Sleep Tools 

Sleep Tool 1: Sleep Problem Solver: A Six-Step Action Plan for Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems

Sleep Tool 2: A Comparison of the Major Sleep-Training Methods for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers

Sleep Tool 3: Bedtime-Resistance Checklist: Common Reasons for Bedtime Resistance in Toddlers and Preschoolers

Sleep Tool 4: Reasons Why Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers Wake in the Night

Sleep Tool 5: 7-Day Sleep Log

Appendices

Appendix A: Directory of Organizations 
Sleep Associations: General 
Sleep Organizations: Sleep Disorders 
Sleep Safety and Juvenile Safety Standards Organizations
Juvenile Product and Sleep Product Manufacturers Associations
Major Pediatric Health Associations

Appendix B: Directory of On-line Resources
Sleep: Reference Guide
Sleep Research and Sleep
Sleep Problems and Disorders
Sleep Health and Safety
Moms' Sleep
Postpartum Support and Sleep Solutions 
Mother Fuel
General Pediatric Health and Development Information
Useful Sleep-Related Product Information

Appendix C: Recommended Reading

Index

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Bedtime Stories for Tired Parents

The following links were supposed to make it into the directory of web resources for Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage until the book came in overlength. Then cuts had to be made and a few things got lost on the cutting room floor, like these links that I loved. I hate to see them go to waste, so I'm pasting them into the blog. Hope you enjoy them.

Booknoise.net: John Seabrook, Sleeping With the Baby (originally from The New Yorker)

LiteraryMama.com: Andrea Buchanan, The New Bed

LiteraryMama.com: The Naughty Mommy: Fault Lines

Mamazine.com: Sarah Buttenweiser: Our Inadvertent Family Bed

Salon.com: Anne Lamott, Sleeping In

Newstatesman.com: Suzanne Moore, Babies Now Have to Be Trained in the Protestant Work Ethic

Squidoo: Baby Sleep Solutions

I've started a Baby Sleep Solutions lens over at Squidoo.com. (If you're not quite sure what Squidoo.com is all about, the Squidoo.com FAQ will bring you up to speed in a hurry. Who knows? You may even be inspired to start a lens of your own.)

Time to Talk Turkey About Turkey

Contrary to popular belief, eating turkey will not make you drowsy. While the food may be rich in tryptophan, it doesn't contain enough of the substance to cause sleepiness. If you want to serve your child a bedtime snack that helps to promote sleep, choose a carbohydrate-rich snack like cereal or whole-grain toast instead.

Sleep Stats

Poll Shows More Than Half of Canadian Parents Struggle to Get Baby to Sleep
A 2004 sleep study conducted by J & J baby products found that over half of Canadian parents have trouble getting their little babies to nod off at bedtime.